Why Do The Troops Hate The Troops?

"Half of you like me! You really half-like me!"

Even though George Bush's popularity among Americans is swirling clockwise aroung the drain like a chunky poop, he can always count on the military personnel around the world to support him. After all, they are carefully kept too busy dodging enemy fire and car bombs to hear any real news, and the shit they pipe in there is all propaganda anyway. So it's likely that the military will always be near unanimous in its support for Mr. Dressup. Right?

Uh-oh.

Approval of the president's Iraq policy fell 9% from 2004; a bare majority, 54%, now says they view his performance on Iraq favorably. Support for his overall performance fell 11 points, to 60%, among readers of the Military Times newspapers (85% of those polled are on active duty).

You mean the troops don't support the troops?! Even with Rush Limbaugh being piped into their ears on Armed Forces Radio every day? I guess being a sitting duck all the time and not having proper body armor might drown that out.

In other related news, while speaking to injured veterans at a hospital, President AWOL once again displayed his knack for saying the most inappropriate thing possible in any given situation.

"This hospital is full of healers and compassionate people that care deeply about our men and women in uniform," the president said after his visit with the wounded troops. "It's also full of courageous young soldiers and marines, airmen. I'm just overwhelmed by the great strength of character of not only those who have been wounded but of their loved ones as well. "

Bush spent the past week relaxing at his ranch where he rode his bike, cleared brush and prepared for his sixth year in office. He and his wife, Laura, and her mother, Jenna Welch, stayed at the ranch on New Year's Eve and had a steak dinner.

The president had a two-inch scratch across the left side of his brow.

"As you can probably see I was injured myself, not here at the hospital but in combat with a cedar," Bush quipped. "I eventually won."

Yes, and if only your job was to protect us from inanimate objects like tree branches, you might be qualified for your job instead of an unmitigated, miserable failure.

Nah, scratch that. If we were attacked by trees, he would let the trees get away and launch a pre-emptive strike on a cabbage patch.