Movie Morals #1 and #2
After the New Year I will do more of these installments. In the meantime, here are the first two from last month.
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DARREN'S ONE SENTENCE MORAL OF THE MOVIE, vol.1
Forrest Gump: Good things will happen to you if you are stupid and remain ignorant.
Pretty in Pink: Being a girl's best friend is way more fun than getting laid.
Rocky IV: People from other countries succeed because they spend lots of money, but Americans, lacking that luxury, win through true grit, determination, and hard work.
Kids: Don't let your children leave the house or they will get AIDS.
Entrapment: Beautiful young women are attracted to wrinkly, stinky old men, as long as they are ruthless criminals.
Shopgirl: Beautiful young women are attracted to wrinkly, stinky old men as long as they have lots of money.
The Fugitive: Although, admittedly, the police may occasionally make a mistake in interpreting evidence, rest assured that in the end, no innocent man suffers injustice at the hands of the law.
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DARREN'S ONE SENTENCE MORAL OF THE MOVIE, vol. 2
Scarface - A loser with no brains or class can achieve the American dream, if he kills enough people.
Sliding Doors - The slightest, most seemingly inconsequential event can change your life from one boring set of circumstances, to another boring set of circumstances.
Pocahontas - Come on... what about all the GOOD things White people did to the Indians?
Independence Day - If you're planning to invade the Earth and destroy the human race, make sure your advanced technological on-board computers aren't Mac-compatible.
Do the Right Thing -- It is wrong to have prejudices and generalize about an entire race, the way all white people do.
Bruce Almighty: Beware: if you make an offhanded comment that pisses God off, he will go to elaborate lengths to play a practical joke, in order to fuck with you. (See also, "The Bible.)
* * * * * * *
DARREN'S ONE SENTENCE MORAL OF THE MOVIE, vol.1
Forrest Gump: Good things will happen to you if you are stupid and remain ignorant.
Pretty in Pink: Being a girl's best friend is way more fun than getting laid.
Rocky IV: People from other countries succeed because they spend lots of money, but Americans, lacking that luxury, win through true grit, determination, and hard work.
Kids: Don't let your children leave the house or they will get AIDS.
Entrapment: Beautiful young women are attracted to wrinkly, stinky old men, as long as they are ruthless criminals.
Shopgirl: Beautiful young women are attracted to wrinkly, stinky old men as long as they have lots of money.
The Fugitive: Although, admittedly, the police may occasionally make a mistake in interpreting evidence, rest assured that in the end, no innocent man suffers injustice at the hands of the law.
* * * * * * *
DARREN'S ONE SENTENCE MORAL OF THE MOVIE, vol. 2
Scarface - A loser with no brains or class can achieve the American dream, if he kills enough people.
Sliding Doors - The slightest, most seemingly inconsequential event can change your life from one boring set of circumstances, to another boring set of circumstances.
Pocahontas - Come on... what about all the GOOD things White people did to the Indians?
Independence Day - If you're planning to invade the Earth and destroy the human race, make sure your advanced technological on-board computers aren't Mac-compatible.
Do the Right Thing -- It is wrong to have prejudices and generalize about an entire race, the way all white people do.
Bruce Almighty: Beware: if you make an offhanded comment that pisses God off, he will go to elaborate lengths to play a practical joke, in order to fuck with you. (See also, "The Bible.)
posted by 3D at 2:25 PM
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